Trannyspotting

This is a little student film from 1998. Please don’t sue me… I have not made a penny from it. I am in fact penniless. To all involved, who gave their time tirelessly and brilliantly to a demanding director, who didn’t know much either, thank you.

1. “Lust for Life” (Iggy Pop, David Bowie).

℗ 1990 Thousand Mile, Inc.

© 1990 Virgin Records America, Inc.

ilol

Town Country

Town Country was shot on an iPhone in rural Northern Ireland when we lived on the gorgeous Crom Estate in County Fermanagh. The indoor scene is from an ‘adult cafe’ in Belfast. Little M’s dance moves were all her own, improvised and free. The track ‘All of your songs are boring and crap” is by the indomitable Andy Brown, Edinburgh.

This little film piece, depicting idyllic life, was shown in the exhibition ‘Humbly Through The Dust’ in Enniskillen in 2012.

I don’t like asking for help

Film piece – Unedited and, at the time, unwatched by me surveillance footage taken by a private investigator working for the insurance company Unum in 2009. Explanation at beginning of film. It’s long and boring, unless you like that sort of thing, which I do. The music at the beginning scares the shit out of me still. End of review.

Dear Unum,

I already felt like I was constantly being watched and judged. I see myself from the outside, through your lens or another’s eyes. You destroyed and then compounded my faith in the universe.

Fuck you very much.

“To be born a woman has to be born, within an allotted and confined space, into the keeping of men. The social presence of women is developed as a result of their ingenuity in living under such tutelage within such a limited space. But this has been at the cost of a woman’s self being split into two. A woman must continually watch herself. She is almost continually accompanied by her own image of herself. Whilst she is walking across a room or whilst she is weeping at the death of her father, she can scarcely avoid envisaging herself walking or weeping. From earliest childhood she has been taught and persuaded to survey herself continually. And so she comes to consider the surveyor and the surveyed within her as the two constituent yet always distinct elements of her identity as a woman. She has to survey everything she is and everything she does because how she appears to men, is of crucial importance for what is normally thought of as the success of her life. Her own sense of being in herself is supplanted by a sense of being appreciated as herself by another….One might simplify this by saying: men act and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at. This determines not only most relations between men and women but also the relation of women to themselves. The surveyor of woman in herself is male: the surveyed female. Thus she turns herself into an object — and most particularly an object of vision: a sight.”

Ways of Seeing – John Berger

Fuck Love Heartburn

“Fuck Love Heartburn” Film collage by Hari MacMillan 2010

All the “loves” and “fucks” from the movie “Heartburn” staring Meryl Streep and Jack Nicholson, directed by Mike Nichols. It’s really, very good. Watch it. End of review.